Welcome to Gameweek 6. Your fantasy team feels like a psychological experiment, and choosing a captain is a cry for help. The fixtures are a strange mix:
Haaland vs Burnley, a painful match disguised as football.
Arsenal vs Newcastle, a tactical battle sponsored by VAR.
Leeds vs Bournemouth, two teams actually trying to play football.
This week’s rankings are based on Adjusted Fantasy Value (explanation in last week’s article). That just means we’re looking at who’s least likely to ruin your weekend. Let’s dive into the confusion.
Goalkeepers – GW6 Rankings
Vicario (Spurs)
He has three clean sheets, 19 saves, and the calmness of a monk. Spurs defend like they are putting on a dance show, yet Vicario ends up with bonus points and a smug expression.
Roefs (Sunderland)
He saved a penalty and has two clean sheets. He plays for Sunderland. This guy is either a hidden gem or a glitch in the game. Starting him probably means you need therapy and a green arrow.
Pope (Newcastle)
He has four clean sheets and faces Arsenal next. He’ll either shine or get nutmegged by a guy named Viktor.
Raya (Arsenal)
He’s like oat milk: smooth, consistent, and a bit pretentious. If Arsenal holds up, he’ll be fine. Even if they don’t, he’ll still get a bonus point for just being there.
Pickford (Everton)
He has three bonus points and faces West Ham next. He’ll either save a penalty or concede from range. There’s no in-between.
Honorable Mentions:
Petrović (Bournemouth), quietly solid, like a librarian with a black belt.
Sánchez (Chelsea), a bonus magnet but makes decisions like a squirrel on caffeine.
Defenders – GW6 Rankings
Guéhi (Palace)
He has one goal, one assist, three clean sheets, and faces Liverpool next. He’s either getting points or being sent to the shadow realm by Alexander Isak.
Timber (Arsenal)
He has two goals, one assist, and five bonus points. He plays like he’s aiming for a Ballon d’Or.
Calafiori (Arsenal)
He has the same output as Timber but with less hype and more existential dread. Doubling up on Arsenal? You’re either a genius or writing poetry about your red arrows.
Chalobah (Chelsea)
He has two goals, one assist, and the tactical awareness of someone who read Sun Tzu but still plays FIFA on easy mode.
Van de Ven (Spurs)
He has three clean sheets and faces Wolves. He’ll either score a header or chase Strand Larsen into another dimension.
Honorable Mentions:
Livramento (Newcastle), high potential but low sanity.
Senesi (Bournemouth), a budget player with the instincts of a golden retriever.
Midfielders – GW6 Rankings
Jaidon Anthony (Burnley)
He has three goals, one assist, five bonus points, and faces Man City next. He’ll either score an incredible goal or be vaporized by Rodri’s presence.
Semenyo (Bournemouth)
A crowd favorite who thrives in chaos. Leeds at home is his playground, and he’s ready to cause a stir.
Stach (Leeds)
A budget player with potential. He’s the kind who scores once and then fades away like a ghost.
Gravenberch (Liverpool)
Limited minutes but high impact. Slot might start him, bench him, or use him as a false nine. Either way, he’ll snag some points.
Zubimendi (Arsenal)
Consistently solid. He offers Arsenal coverage without the emotional burden. He’s the fantasy version of chamomile tea.
Honorable Mentions:
Caicedo (Chelsea), potential upside but with tactical chaos.
Reijnders (Man City), a rotation risk with a creative spirit.
Forwards – GW6 Rankings
Isidor (Sunderland)
He has three goals, six bonus points, and only 235 minutes played. He’s either a hidden gem or a figment of imagination. If he starts, he’ll score big. If he doesn’t, you’ll feel lost.
Richarlison (Spurs)
He scores a brace one week and then vanishes the next. He plays like he’s trying out for a soap opera. Right now, he’s producing, which is concerning.
João Pedro (Chelsea)
67% of people own him yet he’s still a rotation risk. If he starts, he’s a valuable pick. If he doesn’t, your rank may take a hit while he smiles on the bench.
Haaland (Man City)
He has six goals and faces Burnley next. Captain him, hope for the best, and pray Pep doesn’t sub him off for tactical reasons.
Calvert-Lewin (Leeds)
A budget option with potential. He might score or disappear for three weeks. He’s the Schrödinger’s striker of FPL.
Honorable Mentions:
Gyökeres (Arsenal), a mask celebration or tactical bust.
Bowen (West Ham), a solid choice but emotionally dull.
Final Word, GW6 Is a Fever Pitch
This week feels like a tactical trip. Your spreadsheet recommends Vicario, your heart says Richarlison, and your rank begs you to stop. The fixtures are chaotic, the form isn’t real, and the only thing we can count on is the pain.
Choose your poison, captain your choices, and brace for another weekend of confusing football. If your differential flops again, remember that we’re all in this together.
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